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Is Monogamy Dead? – Rosie Wilby

Published November 6, 2017 by bibliobeth

What’s it all about?:

‘My favourite way to learn is when a funny, clever, honest person is teaching me – that’s why I love Rosie Wilby!’ – Sara Pascoe

‘Bittersweet, original, honest and so funny.’ – Viv Groskop

In early 2013, comedian Rosie Wilby found herself at a crossroads with everything she’d ever believed about romantic relationships. When people asked, ‘who’s the love of your life?’ there was no simple answer. Did they mean her former flatmate who she’d experienced the most ecstatic, heady, yet ultimately doomed, fling with? Or did they mean the deep, lasting companionate partnerships that gave her a sense of belonging and family? Surely, most human beings need both.

Mixing humour, heartache and science, Is Monogamy Dead? details Rosie’s very personal quest to find out why Western society is clinging to a concept that doesn’t work that well for some of us and is laden with ambiguous assumptions.

What did I think?:

First of all, thank you so much to the author, Rosie Wilby for allowing me to read a copy of Is Monogamy Dead?, a beautifully honest part-memoir and part humorous philosophical musings on the nature of friendships, love, monogamy and relationships in the modern world. I’m delighted to provide an honest review and really enjoyed Rosie’s candid thoughts on all these topics and much more. It made me look at social media and dating apps in a whole different light, provided a whole new vocabulary to get to grips with (breadcrumbing anyone?!) and really made me think about what I look for in a relationship versus what my partner might want. It turns out he wants the same as me (phew!) but Rosie definitely made me question what might be going on in someone else’s head and opened up that window of communication where we could talk more honestly about our relationship and where we saw it going.

Rosie is an award-winning comedian, musician, writer and broadcaster based in London and much of the book was quite nostalgic for me as I used to live in London and continue to work there on a daily basis. From describing her current relationship with Jen which troubles her at times because she is so unsure about where it is going, Rosie takes us back to her very first relationship, the first time she fell in love, the girl that changed her outlook briefly for the worse regarding relationships and where she finds herself now. Interspersed with this are her thoughts on monogamy and what that means to people in a relationship, how much potentially easier an “open relationship,” could be where both parties get exactly what they want and still have someone to come home and cuddle on a night, and how technology and expectations have upped the ante in the way we meet and date people.

Of course, I have gay and bisexual friends but I feel like I have got much more of a personal insight into the world of lesbian relationships from Rosie Wilby than I ever would have done from my friends. Well, some things you just don’t ask, right? I loved how sincerely she talked about her past relationships. her current situation and her potential future and my heart broke a little when she and Jen decided to “consciously uncouple,” even though it was obviously the best thing for both parties concerned! I was also fascinated when she described those intimate, very intense female friendships that you form on occasion that are so strong that when they fall apart spectacularly it is almost like a break-up. I’ve certainly had a few of those in my past and I remember how devastating the feeling was.

With Is Monogamy Dead?, Rosie takes us into her confidence, tickles our funny-bone with the things she says and certainly had me rooting for her, hoping that she would find her own happy ending, whatever that might look like to her. If you like your non-fiction with a bit of an edge and a whole lot of heart this is definitely the book for you.

Rosie is appearing at Write Ideas Festival in Whitechapel, London on Sunday 19th November from 13:00-14:00 to talk more about Is Monogamy Dead? Tickets are free but you must register if you’re interested!

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/rosie-wilby-is-monogamy-dead-tickets-37755301122

Would I recommend it?:

But of course!

Star rating (out of 5):

four-stars_0

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Banned Books 2017 – MARCH READ – Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

Published April 3, 2017 by bibliobeth

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What’s it all about?:

In this graphic memoir, Alison Bechdel charts her fraught relationship with her late father.

Distant and exacting, Bruce Bechdel was an English teacher and director of the town funeral home, which Alison and her family referred to as the Fun Home. It was not until college that Alison, who had recently come out as a lesbian, discovered that her father was also gay. A few weeks after this revelation, he was dead, leaving a legacy of mystery for his daughter to resolve.

bannedbooks

Logo designed by Luna’s Little Library

Welcome to the third banned book of 2017! As always, we’ll be looking at why the book was challenged, how/if things have changed since the book was originally published and our own opinions on the book. If you would like to read along with us, here’s what we’ll be reading for the rest of the year:

APRIL –  Habibi – Craig Thompson

MAY – Nasreen’s Secret School: A True Story From Afghanistan – Jeanette Winter

JUNE – Saga, Volume Two (Chapters 7-12) – Brian Vaughan and Fiona Staples

JULY – The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

AUGUST – Thirteen Reasons Why – Jay Asher

SEPTEMBER – Scary Stories – Alvin Schwartz

OCTOBER – ttyl – Lauren Myracle

NOVEMBER – The Color Of Earth – Kim Dong Hwa

DECEMBER – The Agony Of Alice – Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

But back to this month….

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

First published: 2006

In the Top Ten most frequently challenged books in 2015 (source)

Reasons: violence and other (“graphic images”)

Do you understand or agree with any of the reasons for the book being challenged when it was originally published?

BETH:  This is one of those books where I don’t necessarily agree with the reason for challenging/banning it but I can understand why someone may have had problems. I don’t think a book should ever be banned outright and people should always have access to it but in some cases, it might not be suitable for younger readers. There is however one reason I’d like to point out as I’m confused about it – the violence part. Now I’ve just finished this graphic novel/memoir and I really am racking my brain to remember any specific incidence of violence. There is a couple of slight incidents at the beginning where Alison’s father hits her or her brothers but it isn’t portrayed terribly graphically which I was a little relieved about as that would hit a bit too close to the bone for me.

CHRISSI: I can somewhat understand why this book has had some issues. There’s some er… rather risque moments that I can imagine would be a bit difficult to handle in the classroom. That’s not to say that I don’t think it should be challenged and banned completely, but from a teaching perspective… I wouldn’t dream of having this in the library unlike some of the other books that we’ve read for this feature.

How about now?

BETH: This book is now over ten years old and still reads as very contemporary so I don’t think attitudes would have changed too much in that short period of time. I was surprised at the graphic sexual imagery that there is, I wasn’t really expecting that and although I wasn’t personally offended by it it might be a bit too much for very young readers. It shows a lesbian scene and I was quite pleased that this kind of thing is being included in graphic novels. The other graphic image is of a naked male corpse which again I wasn’t perturbed by but might frighten those of a more sensitive disposition. 

CHRISSI: I’d have to agree with Beth, there are some images that might be a bit too much for some. I’m happy that it’s an LGBT graphic novel/memoir, but the male corpse was a little bit too much for me!

What did you think of this book?:

BETH: Unfortunately I was really disappointed by this book. I thought Alison Bechdel certainly led an interesting life, being brought up in a funeral home with a gay father and coming out as homosexual herself later in life made for a fascinating read. However, I didn’t really get on with the story as a whole, the literary references to Proust and Fitzgerald seemed a bit over the top and unnecessary at times and I would have enjoyed it more if she had specifically focused on the relationship between herself and her late father.

CHRISSI: Beth asked me what I thought of it before she started it and I didn’t want to spoil her reading experience. However, I really didn’t like this book. I thought it was going to be really interesting, it certainly has potential to be a fantastic read but I felt the story as a whole didn’t gel well for me. I was bored at points which isn’t what you want from a book. 

Would you recommend it?:

BETH: Probably not.
CHRISSI: It’s not for me! – This book didn’t capture my attention.

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Join us again on the last Monday of April when we will be talking about Habibi by Craig Thompson.

 

Banned Books 2017 – JANUARY READ – Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin

Published January 30, 2017 by bibliobeth

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What’s it all about?:

A  2015 Stonewall Honor Book

A groundbreaking work of LGBT literature takes an honest look at the life, love, and struggles of transgender teens.

Author and photographer Susan Kuklin met and interviewed six transgender or gender-neutral young adults and used her considerable skills to represent them thoughtfully and respectfully before, during, and after their personal acknowledgment of gender preference. Portraits, family photographs, and candid images grace the pages, augmenting the emotional and physical journey each youth has taken. Each honest discussion and disclosure, whether joyful or heartbreaking, is completely different from the other because of family dynamics, living situations, gender, and the transition these teens make in recognition of their true selves.

bannedbooks

Logo designed by Luna’s Little Library

Welcome to the first banned book of 2016! As always, we’ll be looking at why the book was challenged, how/if things have changed since the book was originally published and our own opinions on the book. If you would like to read along with us, here’s what we’ll be reading for the rest of the year:

FEBRUARY – The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time – Mark Haddon

MARCH – Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

APRIL –  Habibi – Craig Thompson

MAY – Nasreen’s Secret School: A True Story From Afghanistan – Jeanette Winter

JUNE – Saga, Volume Two (Chapters 7-12) – Brian Vaughan and Fiona Staples

JULY – The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

AUGUST – Thirteen Reasons Why – Jay Asher

SEPTEMBER – Scary Stories – Alvin Schwartz

OCTOBER – ttyl – Lauren Myracle

NOVEMBER – The Color Of Earth – Kim Dong Hwa

DECEMBER – The Agony Of Alice – Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

But back to this month….

Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin

First published: 2014

In the Top Ten most frequently challenged books in 2015 (source)

Reasons: anti-family, offensive language, homosexuality, sex education, political viewpoint, religious viewpoint, unsuited for age group and other (“wants to remove from collection to ward off complaints”).

Do you understand or agree with any of the reasons for the book being challenged when it was originally published?

BETH: This is a one of our most recently published “banned/challenged” books that we’ve chosen, only being published in 2014. Well, it sure seemed to cause a stir as it was immediately placed on the frequently challenged list for 2015! I don’t agree with any of the reasons for this book being challenged to be perfectly honest but I think I do know why the topic causes such a furore. I think the world of children who are transgender is relatively new (in the fact that we hear about it a hell of a lot more, not that the children never existed before). I think a lot of people either don’t understand or don’t believe that being transgender even exists and find it difficult to come to terms with, sometimes especially if it is their own child. I’m hoping with more publicity that people can educate themselves and the majority of ignorance surrounding it can be reduced.

CHRISSI: This is one of the books that is banned/challenged that I want to roll my eyes at, because it really shouldn’t be. Like Beth, I understand why it has been challenged. It seems recently that transgender is much more publicised than it used to be. Of course, there’s always been transgender around, but it’s definitely more prevalent in the media. You would think that this means the book shouldn’t be banned, and I’d agree, but I can see why it is at challenged because it kicks off a whole debate and arguments about what gender really is. I hope that one day it won’t be such an issue and those that aren’t educated about transgender could be!

How about now?

BETH: See above answer. I will however, go into more depth about the reasons but will try to remain relatively calm. Offensive language – yep, I admit, it’s in there but as I’ve said about other banned books in our series, no worse than what children would hear in school, television, out and about etc. Then there are other reasons that make me want to do that little red angry emoji face. Like anti-family?! I mean, WHAT? Why would being a transgender teenager threaten or go against a loving family? Especially if they are supportive which is just all kinds of awesome if they are. And the last reason…oh my goodness, I just really wonder at the people who are complaining, to be honest. They really need some education.

CHRISSI: My answer is the same as the above although I would like to see the world in change in their attitude towards transgender. It seems ridiculous to me that we can’t be more accepting but perhaps that’s me being naive. As I read this book, I thought of a girl at my current school that still adamantly insists she’s a boy. I wonder what the future holds for her and hope it’s a more accepting one.

What did you think of this book?:

BETH: I enjoyed it! I felt I learned a lot more about what teenagers go through if they feel they have been born into the wrong body. I watched a Louis Theroux documentary here in the UK recently about transgender children and that was brilliant but I really wanted an informative, touching non-fiction book about the real experience as kids grow up. That was exactly what I got. The photographs were the icing on the cake and it was marvellous to see the children in their “wrong” and in their “right” body. I think this could be a hugely important book for any teenager struggling with this issue.

CHRISSI: I thought it was a great book! It was really interesting to read from their experience of how they felt in their ‘wrong’ body. It was fascinating to see the photographs too. I really thought that added to the reading experience.

Would you recommend it?:

BETH: But of course!
CHRISSI: Yes!

BETH’S personal star rating (out of 5):

3-5-stars

Join us again on the last Monday of February when we will be discussing The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time by Mark Haddon. As one of our favourite ever books you’ll understand we’ll have some strong opinions!

 

 

This Book Is Gay – James Dawson

Published August 22, 2015 by bibliobeth

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What’s it all about?:

Former PSHCE teacher and acclaimed YA author James Dawson gives an uncensored look at what it’s like to grow up as LGBT. Including testimonials from people ‘across the spectrum’, this inclusive book explores everything anyone who ever dared to wonder wants to know – from sex to politics, how to pull, stereotypes, how to come-out and more. Spike Gerrell’s hilarious illustrations combined with funny and factual text make this a must-have read.

What did I think?:

With its bright rainbow cover and “look at me” title, This Book Is Gay is no shrinking violet. Thank goodness for that! This is a frank and humorous look at sexuality across the LGBT* spectrum that is surely a godsend to teenagers in today’s world who are confused or curious about their gender preference and even as a heterosexual female, I found this book to be an entertaining and fact-filled journey where there is always something to be learned.

James Dawson is brutally honest about the fact that despite his experience in sex education for youngsters he is by no means a complete expert, he just talks about what he knows. I’ve read some reviews on this book and the main criticism seems to be that he doesn’t really explore other types of sexuality, for example asexual and pan-sexual preferences. Yes, this is the case but sexuality in general is such a huge topic and I feel if he was to explore everything in detail the book would lose something of its undeniable charm.

Most of the information I read I was aware of before but I was also surprised to learn a few things as well. There are also certain things I have a mental image of thanks to James that I don’t think I will be able to get rid of for a while! e.g. how to pleasure a man – DO NOT shake it like a tomato ketchup bottle! The author also covers a wide variety of topics from how to come out and the ins and outs of gay sex to gay icons and stereotypes. The most important message he covers through the novel however is that it’s okay to be yourself, to be unique and to fancy whoever floats your boat be that man, woman or both. This is a fantastic statement to send to all teenagers as we all remember how tough adolescence is, regardless of sexuality and I have to applaud James Dawson for this.

As well as this, the author provides testimonials from real teenagers across the globe as they talk about their own experiences with sexuality. And if this wasn’t enough, a comprehensive list of places to go to for more information, phone numbers and websites is provided at the end of the book so people can make use of the services that are provided but perhaps little known about. Finally, the illustrations by Spike Gerrell which accompany James’ hilarious and honest text are just the icing on the cake and provided quite a few laugh out loud moments for myself and the people that I immediately thrust this book upon. I highly recommend this book for anyone curious about sexuality and especially for those struggling teenagers out there. It’s a hugely important read that I can only hope will be stocked in school libraries and be referred to in sex education classes for years to come.

Would I recommend it?:

But of course!

Star rating (out of 5):

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